party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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