Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize