so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
