Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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