Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
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I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
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I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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