I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
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