Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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