just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
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