Just mADE A PArabola og urine
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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