I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
