She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
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