people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Do vagina's smell?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
We left an ass print on the piano.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
