my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.