Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Rumble strips road head = magical
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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