Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry tbawlz hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(989): View more from Michigan

i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow

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(775): View more from Nevada

Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.

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(226): View more from Ontario

wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.

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(416): View more from Toronto

We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.

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(208): View more from Idaho

Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging

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(563): View more from Iowa

I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me

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