OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif