We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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