we have pet lesbian snakes
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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