i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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