Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
