im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
