Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
