So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
