i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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