GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
