PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Randomize
