So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
