so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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