So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
God gave him joint rollers for hands
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
