Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
How's work?
Spinning.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
