So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
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apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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