OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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