so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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