i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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