I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
