This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
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