i think my tv is drunk
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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