just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
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After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
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I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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