where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
