Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
