After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
