thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Randomize
