How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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