Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
