Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
They are going to name an STD after you.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
