Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
