You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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