God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
