well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Lo siento on account of my penis...
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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