brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
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It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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