we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Randomize
