I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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