whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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