she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We left the knife in your bed.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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