Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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