Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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