Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
