I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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