apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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