let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
