so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
