Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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