I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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