I hate your face
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
