That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
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You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
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Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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