wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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