Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
