Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
