bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
