I think scott just propositioned me for sex
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
