You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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