i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
