I'm really into asian looking animals
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just high enough for therapy.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
